Wedding Invitations Need Full Disclosure

We recently received a wedding invitation for a couple that no one thought would get past their first month of fighting together, let alone ever walk down the aisle.  This invitation was absolutely beautiful and stunk of total hypocrisy as nothing has been beautiful about their relationship.  My hubby and I debated about what to get this couple considering the odds that the marriage will only last a few years (if they even make it through the big day without one of them calling it off.)  This makes me think that wedding invitations should use Native American style names instead of their parental-given names so wedding guests fully understand what kind of wedding they are attending and the possible miracle it is that these two people have agreed to spend their lives together.

For example:

Mr. and Mrs. Helicopter Parents invite you to join in their shock and silent dismay at the wedding of their daughter




On Sunday, June 4th at 10:30am
(don’t worry about being on time because the bride is always late)

Reception immediately following
(where the bride will inevitably cry out of anger over something stupid and the groom will feel completely out of place talking to the people he doesn’t know)


Much better invitation style, right??  Then you know what you are getting into going to this wedding.  Plus, then guests have a higher chance of winning the bet of how long the marriage will last (and you can pick your gift accordingly.)

But, most importantly, you can then revel with the married couple 5, 10, 15, 20 years down the road when they are still happily married and you receive the following 25th wedding anniversary party invitation:

Please join us as we celebrate the wonderful
(and sometimes hard & frustrating)
marriage of

Mr. and Mrs. Oddly-Perfect-For-Each-Other

After 25 years together
we want to toast
with all our family and friends
(even those of you who never thought we would make it…we know who you are!)
to 25 more years together
(holy cow is that possible?)

Gifts are strongly recommended – Open Bar


P.S. I originally wrote "American Indian" instead of "Native American" until the hubby politely reminded me of the politically correct way of referring to the native tribes of North America.  And he says I should have known better since my half-sister has claimed to be like one-millionth, twice-removed Cherokee.  Did I tell you that I am only one crazy person from an entire family of crazies?